To you who follow me, you have understood, I am an anguished of life!
I am crippled by anxieties, phobias and other TOCs that I try to get rid of but pursue me without me being able to do anything about it, if not to despair of not being able to watch a bird without trembling (the faithful will recognize what I’m referring to !) or face the famous Sunday evenings (it’s here ) …
In short, I asked myself for some time, just to understand the reason for my various anxieties.
Certainly, I know that everyone, even if many people forbid it, has anxieties, small fears sometimes phobic. But all the same, I realized, while writing to you, that I had many of these small disturbing daily manias. So, I had to find the reason.
So I thought, searched, tried to make links on the events or not of my life and there: eureka! I found. One can be afraid of everything only when one is already afraid of oneself. And why: because we do not think we are capable of anything … So that was my explanation: I am atelophobic. I have the phobia of my own imperfection or more exactly never to be up to it, to never be good enough.
So, I hear you here tell me: it is heals, my pov ‘Miss Plume …! Go to the psychiatrist.
Well no, I would not tell my troubles to a stranger who read the pages of the last Paris Match by pretending to listen to me and take notes and sometimes nodding, such as the dog in the back of a car. No, I would not go to enrich a pseudo doctor who opposes my “cure” and will tell me that the antidepressant is the only way to recover. Since when would drugs give self-confidence, I ask you?
In short, I will have to look after myself, to find out why I do not want to hear at all costs that I can do a lot of things and finally admit that bad experiences are only experiences and not a generality.
And for that, I made the best decision that was five months ago: open this blog and finally dare to show what I write. It took time, I had to say that at worst, if no one followed, it did not matter. Tell me that my life did not depend on it!
And I did it. I dared to create this little space where I can, today, tell my feelings, good or bad, to make you enter my life, my world sometimes still a little naive, dreamy, but at least full of benevolence, I think.
And then, you came. You have read, commented sometimes these texts that I proposed to you. You shared with me your thoughts. I liked to do that: to answer a little word left random of a page, a wall as they say now.
Reading all this has allowed me to dare more, to confront me with the eyes of people whose writing is the job. I did it, not without fear. And I succeeded.
A few days ago, Atelophobia: Symptoms, Causes and Treatments took a hit when opening my mail, I had the good fortune to see my name appear on a publishing contract.
One of my dreams will come true: to have my name in a book. Ah, certainly, I would not be alone in this book, but I know that I will leave a footprint somewhere and I am very proud!
So yes, I know, it will not solve everything, far from it. We do not live only in writing, there are all the other areas of life in which we are not sure of ourselves and who put you in barriers. That is true.
But when you think for a long time that you can not do anything and live such a beautiful thing so quickly, it helps to see life in pink.
When I started this blog, I was told to pay attention, that it should not become a psychotherapy … I concede it to you. Also, I would be content to publicly thank those who believed that I could do all this and continue to push me..
I am not “cured”, if the lack of confidence can be a pathology, but I treat myself! And believe me, this blog is better than a psychiatrist: a psychiatrist rarely puts you a “like” when you talk to him! Well, yet there is no need to say, this little “I like”, it is good morale and makes you want to do again and again texts! And especially a thousand more times, thank you for being there, readers, faithful or casual. For more info please visit https://itspsychology.com.